Emma Claire

So here's my story of Emma Claire for those that may want to know. I really just want to get it written down before I forget details. So here goes!

 I started having contractions at about 6pm on Tuesday. They weren't bad, but enough that I had to stop what I was doing each time to let them pass. They were anywhere from 5-15 minutes apart but most were 5 min apart. I tried walking, laying down, etc and nothing stopped them. So I slowly started taking a shower and packing my bags because I still wasn't convinced that I was in labor. At about 10pm we decided to just go on to the hospital and get checked so we would know. I called my midwife on the way and she asked me questions about my contractions and then was acting like I should stay home but since I was already on the road she would meet me there. 

We arrived and the ER people had me wait for L&D nurse to come get me. She came and took me to triage. My midwife and her student arrived a few minutes later and checked me. I was 3 cm dilated. I could tell she was on the fence about if I should stay or go back home. She told me to walk the halls for 1-1.5 hrs then come back to be checked to see if I'd progressed at all. So we walked and walked and walked. My contractions got stronger and I had to stop and lean on the rails each time. It also helped for Avery to rub and put pressure on my lower back. I didn't have back pain with Grace, so I wasn't expecting it this time. We went back to be checked and I was between a 4 and 5 dilated. She decided to go ahead and admit me but said she thought it would be awhile. I got to my room at around 1-1:30 am. My nurse got me all set and I planned to rest for a couple hours since we hadn't slept yet. Emma had other plans. 

I'm not sure on the times anymore, but I felt like my contractions were VERY intense pretty quickly after getting settled. I thought I was just being a wuss because my midwife had said it could take awhile. I remember the anesthesiologist coming in to talk with me about an epidural and I could tell Avery wanted me to get one quickly because I was in so much pain. I signed the consent thinking that if this were going to last too much longer then I wouldn't be able to go natural. By this point my contractions were so bad I'm pretty sure writhing in the bed would be the best way to describe it. There was no comfortable position that made it better and I couldn't move from my side. I had planned on possibly using the tub for some of labor (not birth) so everyone asked if I wanted to get in the tub. That meant sitting up and walking across the room. No way could I do that. I literally kept my eyes closed the entire time because the pain was so bad so I don't know who all was in my room and when but I could tell it was a lot. At some point my mom showed up (thank God) and I'm so thankful she and Avery were with me. No way could I have done it without them. Ps for those wondering what contractions feel like...my best way to describe it would be a belt tightening around your abdomen tighter than you ever thought possible without dying and a knife inside twisting all around everywhere. 

At some point I was checked and was told to start pushing. I literally thought I was dying. I just remember saying over and over "I can't do this" and "I think I'm dying." During the pushing, my midwife told me to stop. There was apparently too much blood and she thought my placenta was coming first (BAD). She called a doctor in to get involved, someone threw in an IV and gave me a bolus (300cc for my nurse friends) and then they decided it wasn't and I was ok. So keep on pushing and screaming in pain. She was also sunny side up (face up) which apparently makes it more painful. The midwife explained why but I can't remember and nursing school was too long ago now. 

I'm not sure how long I pushed. Sweet Emma Claire was born at 3:24 am and was 5lbs 12 oz and 19 inches. And I did it all natural. No drugs at all. I have never been in so much pain in my entire life but it was totally worth it because I felt sooo much better afterwards. However if I was in bad labor for hours and hours there's no way I could've done it. So I got to my room around 1am and she was born within 2.5 hours. I would say about 1 hour was really really bad. 

I'll post later about life as a family of 4 and how Grace has dealt with it at some point. I'm just a little busy with 2 under 2!

Groovebook

I recently discovered an app called Groovebook and it is awesome!! I never knew what to do with all my pics that I took on my iPhone other than just transfer them to the computer knowing I would probably never get them printed and maybe even never find them again. 

So with Groovebook, you upload 100 photos a month from your phone pics and you are sent all of them printed in a booklet!! Perfect because I love to have my pics printed but cannot find the time for the life of me. It only costs 2.99/month and that is simply to cover the cost of shipping for your booklet. And I have a promo code that you get your first book for free!

Simply download the app, sign up, enter the code, and get your book in a couple weeks. It really is awesome!!

The code to enter is CASEY25

Here's a pic of my book that just came in!

Here's one of the pics inside!

You can also tear out the pics if you want. I just love it!!

Hope y'all enjoy it too!

Stress

I thought undergrad nursing school was hard. While I still think at that time in my life, it was really hard, it can't hold a candle to what I've got going on right. I currently have a full time job, am in clinicals full time for grad school, have a 1 year old and a husband, plus some other issues in my life. Busy does not even come close to covering it. I work 3 days a week, do clinicals a minimum of 2 days a week, do homework the other days, as well as clean, do laundry, and try to cherish precious moments with my sweet baby because they are few and far between these days. I feel like a terrible mom. Most days I only spend about 1-2 hours with her. I sound terrible saying that. It feels terrible. I've debated quitting school because I feel so bad about it and I'd be lying if I said I wasn't still thinking about dropping out. I need to get in 350 clinical hours by May. I currently have 37. Not ideal. Counting all my possible days to do clinical, Ill only have about 280 by mid April. I honestly don't know how/when I'll be able to fit them in. Then summer ones start. Overwhelmed doesn't even begin to cover how I'm feeling, especially when I think of all I'm missing with Grace. I just keep reminding myself that in the end, it's for her. To provide for her. And that it's better that I'm doing it when she's so young because she won't remember. But it's so hard.

None of this is to complain. I realize that I put this much on myself. I just want my friends to realize that when I say I'm busy, it's not just normal life busy. I am literally too busy to hang out. But August is coming!!! Pray for patience for me and my family dealing with me. Pray for peace for my heart being away from Grace so much. And pray for me to not be overwhelmed and to really cherish the little time I do have with Grace.