Eli James

The following is my birth story of Eli! Mainly so that I will have a record of it to look back on later, I wanted it written out!

Eli James

I woke up at 3:17 to a contraction and was so glad to feel a real one because I'd been contracting nonstop since like 25 weeks.  They continued every 10 minutes. I woke Avery up at around 4:30 to make our plan and give our parents a heads up. Today was the girls' school picture day and I didn't want to make someone else take on that task of getting them ready, so we decided to just get everything ready to head to the hospital after dropping them off if my contractions didn't get too much closer. The contractions did get stronger, but we got the girls dropped off ok then went to Sonic to get me a BLT (I was famished!) My contractions stopped. 

This happened with Emma too, so I wasn't sure what to do. I had my midwife appointment at 9am that I hadn't canceled yet, so we decided to go there and just see what was going on. 

The midwife checked me and said I was dilated 4cm and 50% but since I was only having contractions 10 min apart (they'd started back up after ab an hour) I could have been at 4 a long time, maybe days. So she said we could hang around downtown for a little bit just to see what happens and if the contractions got to be hard ones 4-5 min apart then call her back or go to hospital. We decided to go to centennial park to walk around and hopefully get things moving because at this point, things were in motion...we had a plan for getting the girls picked up from school and Avery's parents had bought their plane tickets and were headed to Dallas. As soon as I got in the car to head to the park, the contractions started hard and fast, 3 minutes apart. I thought maybe it had something to do with being checked and that they would space back out some. At the park, they continued to get stronger and soon were every 2 minutes. I couldn't walk having them so I'd just stop and wait for them to pass. I did this for an hour before deciding to call the midwife back and ask where to go because I still wasn't sure if this was just from being checked. It's now 10am. I had to leave a message for them to call back. No one had called by 10:15 and I had to pee so we drove to McDonalds for me to pee, then back over to midwife's office and Avery ran in to ask what to do. She said go to hospital. 

At the hospital we valet parked and got a wheelchair. We went to triage and got checked in. At 11am I was in my triage room contracting very hard. I started to feel pressure. The nurse initially didn't want to check me because I'd just been checked and the midwife I would see was on her way to check me herself. After about 5 minutes complaining of pressure, the nurse checked me, looked shocked, and said I was 9.5cm, 100% effaced, and had a bulging bag of waters right as the midwife walked in. They immediately rolled me into L&D and I was in that room at 11:15. 

Joann was my midwife and as she and the nurses set stuff up, she told me to do whatever I wanted to do as far as positioning and pushing goes. I feel like there are no adequate words to describe the intense pain of childbirth and you just have to experience it to believe it. Just like Emma, I thought I was dying. Soon I felt the urge to push. This next section is more Avery and my mom's description because I couldn't think straight or see anything anyway. My water still had not broken and Joann said it's rare, but he could be born in the bag of waters. Avery said he could see the head through what looked like a water balloon and the water balloon would bulge out every time I pushed. Joann tried a few times to break it with her fingers but it wouldn't break. She said I have tough membranes...I don't know if that's good or bad! The nurses joked that they may need an umbrella for when it pops. And pop it did. More like exploded apparently. Avery compared it to a whale's spout and that everyone jumped back and it splashed off the bed. Gross. This was 11:38. Then Eli was coming. Joann told me to stop pushing, but I couldn't so she said push hard and fast and not stop. Eli was born at 11:39 with his cord wrapped around his neck 3 times and he was blue. Very blue. They quickly unwrapped him (while Avery almost lost it) and stimulated him to cry. He did and was/is fine. Joann said she was so glad the water didn't break sooner because it protected him and that she'd thought about getting the hook to break the water but something was telling her not to. I now love Joann. She was awesome. I love that she didn't make me lay on my back and hold my own legs like I had to with Emma. I was kinda on my left side and she let me move however I wanted. 

Eli was 6lbs, 9oz and 20.5 inches long. He immediately nursed and has done great ever since. Even though it hurts tremendously, I am so thankful that I've been able to have 2 natural births now. I feel sooooo much better after and get to go home the next day. I wouldn't have made it without the support of my amazing husband and my mom who has become my immediate post birth photographer. 

Least of these

So I had an experience today that I'd like opinions about. I was waiting to pull out of a parking lot when a young man waved to me like he wanted to talk to me. He looked 18ish, black, kinda saggy shorts, and tshirt. He looked like he was attempting to grow a beard and had a very nice, friendly appearance and smile (I want to be very descriptive about him to make sure the scene is set). He told me he was from some kids center and was walking to the Samaritan center to get a free box meal that the kids center had told him about. I've never heard of this kids center or Samaritan center but it made sense. He was asking if I knew where it was and told me the road name. He was holding a paper with directions on it and was double checking. I google mapped it on my phone and it was a 2 minute drive away. I told him he's pretty close and he asked if I could give him a ride over there. I've got Emma with me and about a million thoughts went through my head. I told him I couldn't because I was going the other direction and that I was running behind for an appointment (a lie). He glanced and I'm sure saw Emma in the backseat, said thanks, and continued walking toward his destination. 

As I drove away, I had a lot of thoughts and was/still am trying to be brutally honest with myself. Why did I tell him no? It wasn't because he was black, because I would have said no to a white man as well. It wasn't because he was a man because I would have said no to a woman too. 

I told him no out of fear. For myself and my baby's safety. But I think I was wrong. Obviously I was wrong to lie, no question there, I just didn't know what to say. We aren't called as Christians to be fearful, but to help anyone in need. I don't want my girls to be afraid to help people and in a lot of ways, I'm glad Grace wasn't in the car to see that I turned down the opportunity to help someone and even lied. 

I know that most women, especially with a kid in the car, would have done the exact same thing. I'm just not sure that's the right thing to do. We hear about all these horror stories of people being kidnapped, raped, killed, etc and we are afraid. But once again, I don't think that's what we are called to. Anyway, I just can't get it out of my head and wanted some thoughts/opinions. Would anyone else have helped him? Or would you all have done the same? And what do you think is the right thing to do?

“He will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did not do for one of the least of these, you did not do for me.’ (Matthew 25:45 NIV)

Technology

First off I'd like to say that I fully recognize that every child is different and am in no way being negative towards those whose children do well with technology. But as for Grace, I've pretty much banned her from TV, iPads, iPhones, iPods, etc. and I'm loving it (most of the time). 

I know that everyone says and knows  that 2 year olds are hyper...but I promise you Grace is not a normal 2 year old. At least at home. Other people say how quiet and well behaved she is when she is with them and I honestly don't understand how she holds it all in for me and Nannie (my mom is my primary baby sitter...so she gets worst of the worst from Grace too). 

Grace learned really young how to work iPads, iPhones, etc and loved to watch tv like most kids nowadays. Like she could find her games on my phone at 12 months. On one hand that's impressive, but on the other hand I think it's super sad that kids these days are so attached. I noticed her behavior getting worse and worse from about 18 months on and most of her meltdowns were either about some device or happened right after playing on one or watching tv. I think she could possibly be ADHD and research shows how constant stimulation by devices and TV are contributing to this. So we've cut back. HUGELY. We may watch 1-2 30 min shows a day. That's it. Also I've lately tried to stay away from movies bc they are so fast paced and full of colors and scene changes and it just puts her brain in overdrive. She never plays with my phone. The only time I let her play with iPad is if I'm trapped nursing Emma and don't really have other options. And on the iPad she does puzzles or learning games, not movies. 

Since making this change she has been 100% better!!! Obviously we still have meltdowns and of course some days have more tv than I'd like but she has less meltdowns and is able to play independently for a much longer time. I think without her brain being constantly stimulated and bombarded, she's much calmer and plays so much better!

She also does better about not asking for tv and devices when it's just me and the girls. She knows that I won't give in. She was so mad at me constantly the first few days but it was totally worth it to just take time and play with her. I also had to learn that since I don't let her play devices, I can't either!! Such a struggle for me because we are so connected nowadays which is a blessing and a curse (I'm leaning more toward curse lately bc I think we are losing our ability to just talk to someone but that's a whole other issue). If she sees me or Avery with our phones out, she immediately wants them (esp Avery bc he's not as good at telling her no yet). So we've tried to get in the habit of no phones at night unless truly necessary. Same with my tv shows. We can't have the tv on one of our shows bc she pays attention to it and then wants hers instead. And that's not fair to her. So we watch tv after she's gone to bed. This has taught me to really enjoy playing with her and not always worrying ab being connected with the world or watching my shows. Because honestly, what's more important than a tea party with a 2 year old?!

Anyone else have technology probs with their kids?? 

Emma Claire

So here's my story of Emma Claire for those that may want to know. I really just want to get it written down before I forget details. So here goes!

 I started having contractions at about 6pm on Tuesday. They weren't bad, but enough that I had to stop what I was doing each time to let them pass. They were anywhere from 5-15 minutes apart but most were 5 min apart. I tried walking, laying down, etc and nothing stopped them. So I slowly started taking a shower and packing my bags because I still wasn't convinced that I was in labor. At about 10pm we decided to just go on to the hospital and get checked so we would know. I called my midwife on the way and she asked me questions about my contractions and then was acting like I should stay home but since I was already on the road she would meet me there. 

We arrived and the ER people had me wait for L&D nurse to come get me. She came and took me to triage. My midwife and her student arrived a few minutes later and checked me. I was 3 cm dilated. I could tell she was on the fence about if I should stay or go back home. She told me to walk the halls for 1-1.5 hrs then come back to be checked to see if I'd progressed at all. So we walked and walked and walked. My contractions got stronger and I had to stop and lean on the rails each time. It also helped for Avery to rub and put pressure on my lower back. I didn't have back pain with Grace, so I wasn't expecting it this time. We went back to be checked and I was between a 4 and 5 dilated. She decided to go ahead and admit me but said she thought it would be awhile. I got to my room at around 1-1:30 am. My nurse got me all set and I planned to rest for a couple hours since we hadn't slept yet. Emma had other plans. 

I'm not sure on the times anymore, but I felt like my contractions were VERY intense pretty quickly after getting settled. I thought I was just being a wuss because my midwife had said it could take awhile. I remember the anesthesiologist coming in to talk with me about an epidural and I could tell Avery wanted me to get one quickly because I was in so much pain. I signed the consent thinking that if this were going to last too much longer then I wouldn't be able to go natural. By this point my contractions were so bad I'm pretty sure writhing in the bed would be the best way to describe it. There was no comfortable position that made it better and I couldn't move from my side. I had planned on possibly using the tub for some of labor (not birth) so everyone asked if I wanted to get in the tub. That meant sitting up and walking across the room. No way could I do that. I literally kept my eyes closed the entire time because the pain was so bad so I don't know who all was in my room and when but I could tell it was a lot. At some point my mom showed up (thank God) and I'm so thankful she and Avery were with me. No way could I have done it without them. Ps for those wondering what contractions feel like...my best way to describe it would be a belt tightening around your abdomen tighter than you ever thought possible without dying and a knife inside twisting all around everywhere. 

At some point I was checked and was told to start pushing. I literally thought I was dying. I just remember saying over and over "I can't do this" and "I think I'm dying." During the pushing, my midwife told me to stop. There was apparently too much blood and she thought my placenta was coming first (BAD). She called a doctor in to get involved, someone threw in an IV and gave me a bolus (300cc for my nurse friends) and then they decided it wasn't and I was ok. So keep on pushing and screaming in pain. She was also sunny side up (face up) which apparently makes it more painful. The midwife explained why but I can't remember and nursing school was too long ago now. 

I'm not sure how long I pushed. Sweet Emma Claire was born at 3:24 am and was 5lbs 12 oz and 19 inches. And I did it all natural. No drugs at all. I have never been in so much pain in my entire life but it was totally worth it because I felt sooo much better afterwards. However if I was in bad labor for hours and hours there's no way I could've done it. So I got to my room around 1am and she was born within 2.5 hours. I would say about 1 hour was really really bad. 

I'll post later about life as a family of 4 and how Grace has dealt with it at some point. I'm just a little busy with 2 under 2!

Groovebook

I recently discovered an app called Groovebook and it is awesome!! I never knew what to do with all my pics that I took on my iPhone other than just transfer them to the computer knowing I would probably never get them printed and maybe even never find them again. 

So with Groovebook, you upload 100 photos a month from your phone pics and you are sent all of them printed in a booklet!! Perfect because I love to have my pics printed but cannot find the time for the life of me. It only costs 2.99/month and that is simply to cover the cost of shipping for your booklet. And I have a promo code that you get your first book for free!

Simply download the app, sign up, enter the code, and get your book in a couple weeks. It really is awesome!!

The code to enter is CASEY25

Here's a pic of my book that just came in!

Here's one of the pics inside!

You can also tear out the pics if you want. I just love it!!

Hope y'all enjoy it too!

Stress

I thought undergrad nursing school was hard. While I still think at that time in my life, it was really hard, it can't hold a candle to what I've got going on right. I currently have a full time job, am in clinicals full time for grad school, have a 1 year old and a husband, plus some other issues in my life. Busy does not even come close to covering it. I work 3 days a week, do clinicals a minimum of 2 days a week, do homework the other days, as well as clean, do laundry, and try to cherish precious moments with my sweet baby because they are few and far between these days. I feel like a terrible mom. Most days I only spend about 1-2 hours with her. I sound terrible saying that. It feels terrible. I've debated quitting school because I feel so bad about it and I'd be lying if I said I wasn't still thinking about dropping out. I need to get in 350 clinical hours by May. I currently have 37. Not ideal. Counting all my possible days to do clinical, Ill only have about 280 by mid April. I honestly don't know how/when I'll be able to fit them in. Then summer ones start. Overwhelmed doesn't even begin to cover how I'm feeling, especially when I think of all I'm missing with Grace. I just keep reminding myself that in the end, it's for her. To provide for her. And that it's better that I'm doing it when she's so young because she won't remember. But it's so hard.

None of this is to complain. I realize that I put this much on myself. I just want my friends to realize that when I say I'm busy, it's not just normal life busy. I am literally too busy to hang out. But August is coming!!! Pray for patience for me and my family dealing with me. Pray for peace for my heart being away from Grace so much. And pray for me to not be overwhelmed and to really cherish the little time I do have with Grace.

Thanksgiving!!

I have waaayy to much to be thankful for so I'm not even going to attempt to list them all. But I do want to mention a few earthly blessings. First off, my husband, Avery. He puts up with sooo much from me and loves me anyway. He's my best friend and would do anything for me. I thank God for him every day. Second, my sweet baby, Grace. She's the best thing that's ever happened to me and I love her more than I imagined possible. Next, my fabulous parents. They have been there for me my whole life and literally would give me the world if I needed it. They are the most selfless, Christian people I've ever met and made me who I am today. They deserve so much more thanks than they get and are some of the hardest working people I know. Lastly, my in laws. I love that Grace has an extended family that loves her dearly and would do anything for her. They are like a second family to me and I appreciate all they do for my family.

I hope that everyone has a fabulous thanksgiving full of friends, family, and food!!